Gave up
by Miria
Summary: In the late 17th century, Carlisle meets a forlorn, suicidal vampire outside of Volterra. A short discussion follows. oneshot


A/N: Here's my second fanfic ever, an attempt at Twilight fanfiction. It was inspired by my love for Carlisle and also by Edward's self-destructive behaviour at the end of New Moon… This story is un-betaed and written by a non-native English speaker (excuses, excuses…).

Please, do review if you read this! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Twilight saga! This was written simply to entertain meself. :)

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The Volturi were not pleased. There had been two dead human bodies lying on one of Volterra's main streets in the morning. Two corpses completely drained of blood, with teeth marks on the neck and a scent of an unknown vampire all around them. The town was in an uproar. What strange and frightful monster was roaming the city's streets, wondered the human citizens.

Carlisle Cullen, an English vampire, had been staying with the Volturi for several years. Today he had seen Aro and Caius quite furious in the morning because of the bodies and even angrier in the afternoon when the trackers returned without the culprit. The scent of the peace-breaking vampire was all around the forest and countryside surrounding the city, but the creature hadn't been found. Now there was a massive guard in the city to prevent new mishaps.

Carlisle had left the city tonight to go hunting. He defied the urge to drink human blood and fed only on animals. Every now and then his Volturi friends tried to tempt him to feed on some of the humans that were brought to them. But he never wavered.

Now he ran deeper into a forest nearby trying to catch a whiff of some wild beast. He was planning to have a long hunting trip. If the guard caught the 'misbehaving' vampire tonight, he didn't want to see them dismembered and burnt.

He smelled the track of some deer, but wanted to search for more exciting prey. He ran uphill as the forest stretched on the mountain slopes. But suddenly he caught a different kind of scent, a freshly familiar scent. He stopped immediately and dropped into a wary crouch. He had seen last night's two bodies and smelled the attacker's scent. It wasn't familiar to him at the time, but now he smelled it for the second time.

Carlisle stared at a creature about 200 feet away from him. It was a woman, a petite woman with white skin and white blond hair. Her features were those of a vampire - breathtakingly beautiful. She was smiling at him and standing casually as opposed by his attack-ready crouch.

"Hello", she said in clear Italian while coming closer, "How are you?"

Carlisle didn't move a muscle.

"My name is Ainia", she continued, "You are the one whose scent I've smelled frequently in these woods for the past days. Why do you come here?"

Carlisle was puzzled by the woman. He couldn't let her escape, not while Aro could read his mind by simply touching his hand. He straightened and took a more relaxed pose, but remained alert.

"Why did you kill those people last night?" he asked. The woman, Ainia, smiled widely.

"Well, I was thirsty, of course. Is that why you hunt in these woods, too? Do you feed on animals? There are hardly humans here at this hour."

Carlisle decided to ignore her questions, and continued by rephrasing his own:

"I meant, why did you kill them in the city and left them on the street? Don't you know about the Volturi?"

"Oh, I'm well aware of the Volturi. I left the bodies there on purpose. You see, I've decided I don't want to continue this… this _life_. And I think that since I disturbed their peaceful little town, the Volturi would like to help me by ending my existence."

"Why?" Carlisle asked despite himself.

"I'm tired of being a monster. I've been this way for over 600 years", she said casually, "But, tell me, please, do you really feed on animals? You look like you do."

"Yes, I do", he answered, "I've never tasted human blood."

She was surprised.

"Are you serious?" she asked incredulously, "I've tried that, drinking animal blood. The longest I went without human blood was 15 years. But the thirst won. I couldn't fight the burning in my throat."

Carlisle felt slightly sorry for Ainia. Her conscience was making her hate herself.

"I have been a vampire for almost 40 years", he said, "I'm sure you can fight the thirst if I can…"

Ainia's smile faltered for the first time. Her beautiful features became sad.

"I'm afraid I don't have that much faith in myself. I am weak. I've tried and failed too many times."

"You should try harder, go to an area where no human lives, avoid the temptation", he tried. He didn't wonder why he suddenly tried to help her. He felt the inclination towards medicine because that way he could help human beings – why shouldn't he help a vampire?

"You are very sweet. Maybe it is easier for you because you've never tasted the rich and delicious flavour of the human blood. But I know it very well, and can't escape my craving for it."

Carlisle looked at her with sadness and didn't know what else to say. Painful thoughts were forming in his head: Was this his future? Would he find that he couldn't avoid killing people, either? No, no. He killed those thoughts instead.

"Oh well, I really shouldn't be troubling you with my problems. You came here to hunt", she returned the smile to her lips, "I was very curious about you. And I guess I've just been too lonely for too long a time – I'll talk to anyone who will talk to me. But I should go and finish my business now. I'm heading to the city, where they are surely guarding the streets, hoping that I return. I'll grant them their wish."

"What about…" Carlisle begun feebly - he couldn't let her go to her doom yet, "What about friends… and close-ones? Don't you have anybody to live for…?

Ainia laughed.

"Oh, you really are such a sweet, compassionate creature. I thank you for your concern, but it's no use. The one who was dearest and closest to me has been gone for a long time. You remind me of him, a little. He had the same golden hair", she paused for a moment, remembering her past love. When she returned to the present and focused her eyes on Carlisle, there was a fond smile on her face, "Well, are there any more questions?"

He shook his head.

"In that case I shall be on my way", she said, "I wish you much success with your chosen way of life. Farewell."

Then, with a flash of white hair, she was gone, running away to where he had come from - Volterra.

Carlisle stood there for awhile after she had gone, lost in thought. It was a strange meeting, to be sure. He had never before met a vampire who considered themselves a monster. There were actually so many questions he would have wanted to ask. How had she been bitten? When had she first tried to feed on animals? Where was she from? What had she been doing during her 600 years? What had happened to her mate? Did she know anyone else who avoided human blood? Why had she decided to irritate the Volturi into killing her, couldn't she have asked some others to kill her? Was life as a vampire with a human's conscience really bad enough to bring out suicidal thoughts? Why couldn't she have let him help her?

The unanswered questions were too much for the moment. He had to continue with his original mission, the hunt. Slightly more satisfied, he was ready to return to the city before sunrise. A sickeningly strong incense-like smell filled the crisp, still morning air. It would be peaceful at Volterra again. The intruder had been taken care of.


End file.
